The One

Do anyone of you believe in finding the right person? Cause i for one think i found mine. She's indispensable. She's perfect, perfect to me. Really. She doesn't have to be the perfect one but being perfect for me is totally enough. The thing is, she's already fixated in her mindset that being separated is cooler than getting back together(or as i would put it, starting afresh). I'm not going to give up. I'm really, really determined for the first time in my life what i really want. It's her! But sadly, she doesn't feel the same.. No one explicitly told me to give up but really, the atmosphere is already hinting me to drop the past. I don't want her to be my past. I want her to be my forever after. Someone that i can depend on for love, warmth, happiness. Me being sorry is not enough for all this crap. I just need her time. So as long as she doesn't get any boyfriends and stuff, i still have my chance. Right now, i believe the calendar is my only friend.

Pain

I've never felt like this for a very very long time. It's like, my heart has been ripped apart. Maybe it's all my fault. Wait, no. IT IS MY FAULT. I made a grave mistake. I shouldn't have broke up with you in the first place. I shouldn't hold control over you. You were young. In fact, you were very young. Fourteen, when we first started. I should have known. But hey, i was rash! I only realised how precious you are to me. How much i really was happy with you. Though we never really hanged out when we were together(although that's my reason for severing the r/s), i felt more than happy. I couldn't really describe it in plain words. It wasn't just happy. I felt i was awesome. Having to date the most awesomest girl in school. But yeah, fuck that. The past is gone. Maybe it's your current take on not going back to the past. I don't want to go there. It's ugly. And if you ever donned upon this post, i want to let you know that I'm sorry, very to-the-core sorry. I can't bring back the dead or chuck your pain aside, but i can tell you this: 'I Love You' and 'You Are The Most Beautiful Person I've Ever Seen'. Not sure if you caught this, but i really meant what i said. About making up for my mistakes and loving you with everything i have and would have. I want to be by your side when you're sick, be your shoulder when you're sad, and be your bolster when you're happy I want you to be a part of my life and me to you. You said it will be tough and difficult. I can and i will bear whatever that is to come. And yes, i am determined. For i have realised what are the things that made me happy. Number One: You. I'm extremely proud to say that during my happiest days of my life, i was attached to you. Yeah, it could be a coincidence or maybe you might think that i'm just saying for the sake of getting you back. No. It's the truth. Number Two.....Ten are not as important as the first. I seek joy from lifting. And you were the one person who made me want to be stronger. I wanted to be better than the guys in your class and in your cohort. I wanted to be stronger than them. But then i realised, none of that truly mattered as long as we love each other. I also seek joy from hanging out with my best friend. We do arguments all the time but that's how we are, best friends! We talk about our lives everytime we meet, we rarely text cause we meet each other often and we know what's going on with each of our heads. The thing is, having you is way different from my best friend. I can get a shot at hugging you, holding you tiny hands, play with your hair, send you home, kiss in the rain, cuddle and so on.. Look, if you're reading this, i'm going to end it with this. I'm a changed person. I'm no longer that sec 3 boy whom chatted with you and dated you and dumped you. No. I am now a guy who listens, who gives opinions and suggestions. I make witty jokes and is willing to do stuff for you. I don't mind not texting to other girls while i'm with you(it doesn't mean that i'm multi-texting them while texting you, NO). I don't mind sending you home from work, school or to anywhere else. However, it might creep you out so i guess it's a no. But really, it might seem desperate but, have you heard of a guy that will wait for you? Not putting myself high up but really, i'm willing to do whatever it takes to win you back. Not saying that you're a prize or an entity but you're my world. And you know what? After typing all these, i finally realise what i'm missing out on. I'm actually wasting my time moaning and grumbling about what happened when i can actually win 'My World'. I Love You, Lucas

Glee

Though the FOX comedy-drama musical series Glee is partially surreal, it actually projects my feelings for some stuff and it works as an anti-anxiety/depression show. On the plus side, its funny, relatable and enjoyable. Nevertheless, I love Glee personally because of its unique style of mashups and a great episode production. Tata